A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Aussie fumed, ‘What’s with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!’

The Indian Doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’

The Chinese Businessman called out ‘Move it, time is money’

The Catholic Priest said, ‘Here comes George the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.’

‘Hello, George!’, said the Catholic Priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’

George the greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’

The Indian Doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.’

The Chinese Businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls’

The Aussie said, ‘Why can’t they frigging play at night?’

I’ve booked a couple of groups for next Saturday. The first one is 9:37 & the 2nd is 9:44. We have 5 starters at the moment so there is still room for a couple more. Send me an email or leave a comment if you want to come along.

Cheers

Cary

Call me a corporate shill, I don’t care. I had a box of the new & improved Mother energy drink delivered to my house & asked to taste it & put a review on the website. It was free so I had nothing to lose. I must say I didn’t mind it at all. The flavour was not terible, which is a step up from the old one. I have handed a few of them out so anyone I’ve given them to can you drop a comment on this post. Just as another point, I love the new add campaign The whole hunting down the people who designed the old Mother, brilliant.

It’s been a while since we have been out for a hit. I was planing on going out last weekend but the weather forcast put the kybosh on that. You feel like a real pratt hoping that the weather will get better when we are such desperate need of the rain

If anyone out there wants to have a hit, count me in. My swing will probably be like a rusty gate but who cares.

I have added a Golf in Melbourne page on Facebook. You can check it out here

In 1923, Who Was:

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the world’s most successful of their days.Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them.

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company.
    Charles Schwab,died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company,
    Edward Hopson,went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE,
    Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator,
    Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement,
    shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street,
    Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament,the US Open, was Gene Sarazen. What became of him? He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95.He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The Moral:
Fuck work.
Play golf.

Off to see the Storm tonight. The are playing the Cowboys at Olympic Park. Looks like a bit of a cold one out there so I might even have to wear a jacket

My mother emailed me this joke last week so I thought I would share it.

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men.He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.’Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieveyour pain if you’d allow me, she told him.’Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb’s still broken.

There was a big group out her for “Brooka”. Around 54 people turn up to have a crack. The event was both stableford & stroke. The stableford points carried over from the last two round plus the round in about a month to have a stableford champ. I played with 3 lovely blokes & had a ball. After the round we had a couple of beers at Whittlesea & then back to the RSL for a BBQ. It was a great day. As far as scores go I shot a 67 net & 40 stable ford points & didn’t get a look in I did win a hat & a stubbie holder for the longest drive on the 17th

John, Stuart, Dick & myself went out too Freeway on Thursday the 11th. It was a gorgeous day & we got away at 9 in the morning. It’s been a few months since I’ve played here & the have done extensive work around the course with new bunkers. They look fantastic!! I didn’t land in any so I can’t attest to the quality of the sand but they have added a number of deep greenside bunkers around the course & they look very intimidating. The fairways were in great condition but the greens left a little to be desired. There wasn’t a problem with putting, the ball rolled pretty true & even paced. The problem was with your approach shots. There was no reward for a good shot, the ball just run through the green. It was pretty frustrating. Having said that I thought the course looked fantastic & we got off just before the weather changed. With any luck we will be getting out a bite more over the next few months.

Cheers

Cary